2019 first quarter - headed in the right direction


In my last post I said I was going to try to write once a month and then… promptly forgot.

But with spring comes some fresh energy, some renewed excitement for writing, and more specifically, for blogging. I feel the urge to be in this space more. To renovate, to go through back posts, to tweak and to make mine again.

The other day I was walking from my car across a small parking lot to a store where a client was working, and I saw this arrow. I stopped short. I felt I had to take a photo there. So, I did.

And whenever I look at it I hear the words to the India Arie song “Headed in the Right Direction”:

Headed in the right direction
I can see the light of day
I've got love as my connection
There's an angel showing me the way

Been reaching for love all my life
I couldn't find it always one step behind it
Now I know it was mine all the time finally I am

Headed in the right direction…

So, an update. We’re three months into 2019. First quarter. Here’s a check-in with the various things in my mind, in my life, on my plate right now. Most of these categories will probably end up being their own posts sometime soon, as there’s more to flesh out about each of them, more I want to share.

Mama life - Aidan is crawling and pulling himself up on stuff. He is saying “CAT”. He is playing peekaboo with a towel. Coparenting is sometimes great, sometimes hard (the distance mainly, and communication). Feeling weird about Aidan having this whole other life half the time, that I really know very little about. BUT… 50/50 allowed me to feel human again. To bring back to life the other parts of me that were pushed aside by “mama”. Overall being a mom is amazing and I love my kiddo. I’m almost completely certain I don’t want to have another kid… but I’ve grown in my convictions as a feminist and my motivations to support mothers and parents. There’s so much more we can do as a society to support them.

One Little Word: The word for this year is TRUE and I’m doing a sort of meld of a journal and a scrapbook and a collage… so far I like it a lot. It’s messy, but it’s meaningful. I’d like to share more in a future post.

Creative Soul Weekend - wanting to grow this and morph it a bit. We just did a Mini CSW event and it went great. We’re thinking about doing a summer event that’s free, as well as the regular retreat in September. I’m feeling it gather energy, and collaborating with Emily like a sister on the other side of the island is a very special relationship.

Lumiere project - OK, so I think I’m obsessed with an icewall? And I’m going to apply to do a project as part of the Lumiere arts festival this year. Stay tuned for more on this, for sure.

Work life - My career. I’m wanting to get a birds’ eye view of it, see how I got where I am. See where I’m going next. I have an exercise from my friend Laura that I want to do that digs into some of my work projects and what I’ve liked best about them and what I want to do more of. I’m itching to do more design work and also writing and editing work… and could see myself taking on a few freelance clients in future. But I also really love my work with adults with disabilities, and the organization where I work full time, so… there’s lots to explore there.

Love life - That relationship I mentioned in my previous post ended, unfortunately. There’s new energy in this space but it’s not ready to be shared just yet.

Less phone time - I’m using screen time features on iPhone. I quit playing HayDay. Truly, I’m wanting to READ MORE. I read recently the line “Your life is what you pay attention to” and it is stuck in my brain. It’s working too - I’ve read several books since starting this experiment end of February. I’m tracking them with the hashtag #LCNreads2019 on Instagram.

Saving money (sharing Internet, cutting TV, eating more plant-based foods, etc) and fashion - “dress for the job you want to have” - are both things on my mind but that I haven’t done a whole lot about them yet.

Basically this is just a brain dump… like a real journal, only online. Like blogging circa 2004. Which I miss, and want to do again. So, why not? Why not just do it?

Why not, indeed. The hell with the algorithms. Let’s be real.

Monday Monday


Trying out the Squarespace blog app... we’re traveling tomorrow to the US and I won’t be taking my computer with me, but I do want to keep up with blogging. 

This was Mittens this morning. I took a photo of her so I can look at it when I miss her (yup, I know, I’m a sook) and it cracks me up because she’s looking at me like, “Come onnnnn, it’s only a week.” Whatever.  

the answers


(I don't have any, or I have fragments of them.) 

But I ask myself lots of questions. (Mostly about whether or not something is OK, it seems.)

Is it OK to not really use Facebook much anymore? To not care about the News Feed? 


And then, related - is it OK to pivot, to change, to evolve? (Because I used to be a heavy Facebook user. Like, heavy.)


Is it OK to do what I want? (And not do it purely for money, or for SEO, or for clicks and likes, or for what my Ideal Client wants?)


Is it OK to share that journey? (And be vulnerable?)


Is it OK to make my own way?


What I miss:

  • Connecting with other people through words, through the Internet. Seeing their world through their eyes. And showing them mine, through mine. Instagram does a good job of this these days, but. But. (But what?) Blogging just seems like my first love. A deeper place. A something different. A slower place. 
  • That time by myself to write. And then to share. 
  • Bulleted lists, haha.

So an idea comes to me, somewhere between yesterday and today. To write, every day, for the next 20 or so days. And not to tell anyone, or to post "New blog post up now!" on Instagram, or anything like that. Not to draw attention to it. Just to nurture this little space, my little words. My little hunch, that this is something I need to do again. 

OK, alright. I can do that.