Cozy

gingercat

At my mother's house. Cozy, nesting. Resting. A place to cocoon and protect and heal. This cat helps. 

the truth of the matter is

  1. It's 1:11 am.
  2. I am not sleeping well this past week. 
  3. I woke up hungry. Peanut butter and jelly on bread with a glass milk called me. And we're talking white-ass bread, fucking Kraft peanut butter, raspberry jelly. The suburban meal I didn't have growing up, that I'm living now.
  4. I got up. Made it. Ate it. Instagram-storied it. Made another. Ate that too. Fuck it.
  5. The truth of the matter is we're going through something. And it's not easy. 
  6. The truth of the matter is also that I'm not ready to share. That there's more to it than meets the eye. That it's private. That it's delicate. 
  7. Most importantly, that it's OK. It's OK now, and things will be OK, no matter how they turn out. I get that now. 
  8. I leak tears from time to time. This is my body processing emotion. It's OK.
  9. The way he pats my belly, says hi to the kid. Even when things are hard, there is this.
  10. I miss writing, so much. I'm going to a local writers' group on November 8th. I'm making this happen. It's important to me. 
  11. Bonus one: it's time to go back to bed now. 
  12. Bonus two: but first, this post by Mara Glatzel from May 5. I don't know what exactly in her own life and relationship she was referring to but it is speaking to me like crazy right now.

This post format is 100% inspired by Alisha Sommer's beautiful posts.

Monday Monday

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Trying out the Squarespace blog app... we’re traveling tomorrow to the US and I won’t be taking my computer with me, but I do want to keep up with blogging. 

This was Mittens this morning. I took a photo of her so I can look at it when I miss her (yup, I know, I’m a sook) and it cracks me up because she’s looking at me like, “Come onnnnn, it’s only a week.” Whatever.