More clarity + more growth


My previous post on this blog was literally the day before my son was born, five weeks premature. It is so weird to go back and read it... it feels like a dispatch from a foreign country. I remember taking that photo, walking out to the back garden at my mother's house, in the snow. Seeing the trees with the snow so perfectly laid down on the branches. Feeling the stillness of the winter woods, of that point in my life. I realize now that it was the calm before a major storm. 

That night before I went to bed I used the bathroom and there was a bit of blood in my underwear. Only a tiny amount, like just pink really. Still, I texted Adam to let him know. We agreed to keep an eye on it. The next day in the afternoon I had an appointment scheduled to see my doctor, so I figured if I was still having bleeding the next day she could check me out. 

I went to bed.

Around 2 am, bad back pain woke me up. It was so bad I had to sit up in the bed. Then it passed. A few minutes later it was back. I waited about 10 minutes before I got up and woke my mom up. We agreed that I should go to the hospital. 35 weeks pregnant at that point, we didn't want to take chances. It's an hour's drive from my mom's house to the hospital, and it was snowing fairly heavily. So we called an ambulance. 

I got to the hospital around 4 am and by 6:53, Aidan Michael was born. 

At some point I'll flesh out the details of the birth, and all that came after (2.5 weeks in the NICU, a breastfeeding attempt and fail, the decision to move to formula, moving in to my new apartment, and the slow movement of winter into spring and sadness into happiness)... but for now I just wanted to update the blog. Aidan has arrived, and life is more wonderful now. More clear. I honestly feel happier than I have in years... and grateful for most if not all that happened in the last six months. 

For more pics of Aidan Michael Elliott-Noble, here are the ones I've posted on Instagram!