It was a delightful long weekend. I took a break from thinking about or promoting the crowdfunding campaign, and indeed took a break from most things that take place on the Internet. (Except for Netflix, because that's where I stream my precious Downton Abbey from.) I spent time with my family, had a few meetings on Saturday, and also spent a lot of time either in bed or on the couch with Adam, napping or (I sound like a broken record but oh well) watching Downton.
And today, Easter Monday, I was off but Adam had to work, so I got up when he did and then went out and met a friend for coffee. When I got home, I felt that familiar urge to "Do all the things!" Maybe you feel it too sometimes? It's a feeling I get often, especially when there is an open block of several hours. It's like my To-Do list comes alive and starts adding things to itself when I'm not looking, and I turn around and it has exploded.
Something Tiffany Han wrote in a recent Instagram post stuck with me today though, and helped me to both slow down and get a few things accomplished. She wrote: "I recently learned that the more I do, the more there is to do, and the more my body calls out for rest." And, whoa. That's so true. The more I get done, the more there seems to be to do.
Things I Know: It takes real courage to slow down. Because slowing down means admitting to myself that when I am in that "Do all the things!!" kinda-crazy mentality, that I believe I am only as worthy as what I get done. I'm so scared to only do a few things, even if it means I do them more peacefully and happily than if I tried to cram twenty things into an hour, because deep down I don't believe that I'm worth enough on my own, and that I must instead prove my worth to the world through a checklist of ticked-off items.
Another recent Instagram post by another friend of mine, Elizabeth Fein, encouraged people to share their expertise, instead of just their shoes or their brunch.
And as I read her words, I realized that I'm uncomfortable with the thought of doing that, because I unconsciously think I don't have any. Isn't that kinda messed up? I'm a thirty year old woman with many years of experience, and I don't have any expertise? So Elizabeth's post got me thinking about starting a blog series or something, about "Things I Know," perhaps written as if to myself ten years ago. And the first thing that popped into my head was "Things I know: time does not in fact stretch to accommodate all you plan." I mean, yes, you must have drive and goals, and tackle things and just "get er done," but an hour is an hour is an hour. Things take as long as they take. Recognizing that, for me, means being more realistic and ultimately more forgiving of myself. Which breeds peace and happiness.
Anyway, all of this is really just to say "HI!" and "I'm still here!" Ha...
I had big ideas and plans when I started the crowdfunding campaign fifteen days ago that I would come up with loads of content, that I would spend all my waking hours coming up with clever blog posts and partnerships to prove how amazing I am and worthy of funding. But then, life happens. Family dinners. Naps with my hubby. Walks in the fresh air. My day job. Doing groceries. Taking a shower. Et cetera... you have these things too, so you know: they are valuable. They are worthy. They are necessary.
A month is a month is a month. Things take as long as they take.
And now, I'm off to take a nap. And most likely watch some Downton Abbey.